When you lose someone to cancer or an unfortunate cause, you can lose everything along with them. Your reason, your cause, your motivation. Life can become less meaningful. Hell, it can even feel pointless. 

So, how do you find a reason again? How do you stop holding on to the pain?

You will get great advice and reminders about letting go of pain, which is a gradual process that requires patience and self-compassion. It is essential to recognize that healing does not mean forgetting or diminishing the significance of the loss. And it involves finding a way to integrate the experience into your life, allowing it to shape you without defining you. Sure, that all makes sense. But how do you actually do it? How do you redefine your reason when any reason you think of is not good enough? 

To be honest, I am still figuring that out. Right now, I have concluded that when we lose meaningful reasons, when we are in this complex grief, when anything and everything is just not feeling enough to explain a loss, it is okay to not need a reason. 

Maybe you just keep going anyway until a reason is good enough. You keep going to find that reason. 

Yesterday marked 2 years of my mom’s passing to breast cancer. I am in a new space and just doing it regardless of what, why, how, where, when, and how long. I am just being, and right now, that is good enough for me. 

She isn’t here, but she is in me. And just like she showed us strength, I will keep having strength. I love you, Mom. 

I hope you find meaning in this post. If you are having a difficult time and thoughts of suicide, please, seek professional help. You matter. You can dial 988 to reach the suicide hotline.